Birth (out of) control

Teddy bears are awesome.

They’re cute, they’re cuddly and nothing reminds most of us of our childhoods more.

And then there is this:

placentateddySeems cute, right? Wrong. Why?

It. Is. Made. Of. Placenta.

PLACENTA!

I get that birth is a great thing, but seriously? Fact: Usually when you birth a child, you get to take it home. That should be enough. When I get something, I do not feel the need to keep its packaging, too.

But baby-goo bears aren’t the end of it. Check this out.

Yes.

People eat placenta.

Like, that shit was all up in your vagina. Not OK! I’ve heard people justify that with “But animals do it!” OK, animals lick their own asses and eat their own shit. Will you be doing that as well? Didn’t think so.

Please excuse me while I go vomit forever.

-B. Schmidt

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