I’m not going to lie, sometimes I get really irritated with College Candy for being superfluous or just plain stupid sometimes.
But they recently posted one of my favorite segments, The Morning-After Recap, and this is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read on the Internet. Ever. Maybe with the exception of the Craigslist Best-Of posts. Click through for the link.
Need a hook? If you enjoy reading about other people’s drunken idiocies, this column is for you.
Oh, that wasn’t enough? Well, ok then.
It was a couple days after Christmas and my sister and I were at my parents’ cherished retirement pad in Florida. I was hungover and menstruating, so basically my mouth and vagina tasted like cat piss and pennies. We decided mimosas were in order… until I had a sip, remembered single handedly slamming a bottle of bubbly the night before and replaced the champagne with vodka. My mother came home two hours later, and was not happy that A. I had broken into her emergency alcohol supply (this actually exists) and B. that we had decided to get drunk before noon rather than returning/exchanging Christmas presents for her like we said we would three days in a row now.
The two man party kept going until 7 p.m., eight hours later, and somehow we convinced our dad to drive us to a local bar to watch a highly anticipated NFL game. In exchange, we would let him have our McFlurries that were in the freezer. (Also, true.)
The first thing I did when I walked into the bar was buy a waitress’ entire tray of Jell-O shots.
What was the second thing she did? Click through to find out.