Desperate for New Storylines

Screen shot 2009-09-07 at 3.19.57 PMTraditionally, Mondays will play host to my review and re-cap of the latest Desperate Housewives ep. However, Suze and the girls won’t be gracing our TVs until the 27th. So I thought now was the perfect time to talk about what I want from this new season. My Season 6 Wish List, if you will. Let’s start with what went wrong with season 5…

The finale.

Yeah, that’s pretty much the only problem I had with last season.

Marc Cherry and the writers did a great job with last season. The episodes were funnier, the drama was more intense and the girls were at their best…and worst. We got two great memory-themed episodes. The series’ 100th episode centered around the death of Wysteria Lane’s favorite handyman and each housewife had a flashback to an important moment in their life that they shared with him. Beau Bridges played Eli Scruggs (that handyman) in that episode and it was one of the most touching performances of last season.

The other memory-heavy episode was the aftermath of Edie’s death. While I’m still upset at the writers killing off one the shows most interesting, unpredictable and surprising characters, I absolutely loved this episode. Mary Alice took the backseat in this ep while Edie narrated and each housewife thought back to a hard time in their lives that Edie helped them through. Lots of touching scenes ensued. I cried–it’s fine.

Then the two-hour finale¬†aired. I instantly forgot all of the good things about season 5. That’s the danger of having a great year–you can ruin it with just one little episode (Smallville season 8, I’m talking to you too). Not only was it anticlimactic but it looks like the writers plan on recycling a lot of old storylines for this season.

Let’s see– Gabby and Carlos have taken in a problem child, Mike’s getting married (to whom?), Lynette’s preggers (AGAIN) and Bree is in a sordid affair with Karl. Time for a story breakdown:

Problem Child: Um, hi? Didn’t we already see this in season 3 with Tom’s Scavo’s unexpected daughter? One problem child is one too many in my book. FAIL.

Tying the Knot: This one’s tricky. Mike proposed to Katherine in S5 only because Susan apparently was going to marry Jackson. When they survive Dave’s wrath in the finale, the share a passionate kiss.Two months later, he’s marrying someone, but we never see the bitch’s face (stupid veil). Who is it? If Susan and Mike are back together I’m going to borrow Bree’s rifle and shoot someone. POSSIBLE FAIL.

Bun in the Oven: Holy Christ, writers–really? ANOTHER Scavo baby? I mean, I’ve lost count of how many times Lynette has quit her job to deal with children or cancer. Just leave the poor woman alone for half a season. Yes we get that the Scavos are poor. You don’t have to give them another mouth to feed to prove your damn point. The only way this storyline would be somewhat interesting is if Lynette gave the child up for adoption. FAIL.

Doing the Dirty: FINALLY. A semi-decent storyline. Bree having an affair. I love it. The scenes she and Karl shared last season were delightfully trashy. Very Noir. I don’t know where they’re going with this one but it looks to be the most interesting story of this season. WIN.

Where’s Waldo Katherine?: Please please please give Dana Delany some good material this season. I LOVE Katherine and will be PISSED if Mike just peaces out for Susan. On second thought, maybe S and M (hehe) should get back together….Katherine is an excellent cook. What’s on the menu? REVENGE. POSSIBLE WIN.
So what can we expect this season? No idea. My only wish is that the writers make sure they’re not backing themselves into a very familiar corner. ABC touts this as one of its biggest shows and if they want it to last they HAVE to keep it fresh. Nobody likes rotten apples.

-Le Chev


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