Bitch, puhleeeeze.

In a shocking turn of events, it has been confirmed that Saturday Night Live has actually lost its mind and fired both Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson.

You would think a show struggling for views without Tina Fey and that is fast approaching old age, turning 35 on Sept. 26, would be a little more careful about haphazardly hiring and firing cast members. I even seem to recall a cancellation scare when MadTV went down last year, but apparently that didn’t halt Lorne Michaels.

You might recall Watkins’ most famous roles as Barbara Walters, Arianna Huffington, and “Today” show co-host Hoda Kotb.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Watkins said, “I don’t think anyone knows what Lorne Michaels was thinking. …The only explanation I got from him — and he’s not known to say things just to make people feel better — was that he felt deep down that I should have my own show. And I agreed. ‘SNL’ was a dream come true for me. It was a fantastic year. I don’t have any regrets.”

Watkins

Wilson was kicked to the curb by the New York Post, which said that “Wilson, who appeared infrequently in her only season on “SNL,” reportedly had many of her skits cut before airtime or was relegated to a few lines in forgettable sketches.”

wilson

And not only are they fired, they have been replaced, by Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad.

Slate is a Brooklyn comedian whose most famous show with the Upright Citizens Brigade, called “Dead Millionaire,” in which she leaves an enormous fortune to her dog, or something like that that’s apparently hilarious. They’ll probably make a play on that, so we’ll get to see it firsthand.

Jenny Slate’s one lady show, “Jenny Slate: Dead Millionaire” takes place during her funeral, if she died RIGHT NOW as an eccentric millionaire and left 300 million Dollars to the dog. It is an awesome, spazzy, bright and perverted “I’m dead now party”, complete with eulogies and a high-concept video will, and of course, one lucky eulogist ends up receiving one very rich dog.

slate

Nasim Pedrad, of Irvine, CA, graduated from UCLA’s School of Theatre, Film and Television in 2003 and has been on the verge of “blowin’ up” ever since. She has written and performed sketch comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade, The Groundlings and Improv Olympic, and has received an LA Weekly “Best Comedic Performance of the Year” Award as the lead in the comedic spoof After School Special. In addition to co-star appearances in Gilmore Girls and ER, Nasim’s first one-woman show Me, Myself & Iran was selected for the 2007 HBO Comedy Festival in Las Vegas. She is thrilled to bring the show back to LA and looks forward to marrying rich so she can continue to write and perform comedy. (From the UCB actor page)

NASIM

Ever the wordsmith, Bill Hader is quoted as saying, “Yeah, we have two new cast members. It‘s gonna be cool.”

It looks like the first episode is already going to be a trainwreck with host Megan Fox and musical guest U2, so hopefully Slate and Pedrad bring something new and interesting to the table.

So it looks like the real question is: Why doesn’t Michaels just hire Justin Timberlake and get it over with already?

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