Batty old bitch

I remember vivdly the 1996 election: Clinton vs. Dole. I was in third grade and my elementary school held a mock election. We had to learn about and “register” with a party and “vote.” I remember I registered as a Democrat because it rhymed “cat,” my favorite animal.

Just like the real election, Clinton won.

Though I did grow up to be a registered Democrat, I doubt  it was the result of my third-grade decision. Which is why I really don’t understand why resident Oklahoma crazy state Rep. Sally Kern takes issue with Pres. Obama talking to kids. (Yes, heaven forbid they should learn to support their country/president.)

(Then again, I don’t understand a lot about Sally Kern.)

If you don’t know who she is, let me give you a sample of her previous works:

She also wrote the lovely Citizens’ Proclamation For Morality, which seeks to turn us into a theocracy:

Basically, ol’ girl is batshit insane and has little to no knowledge of the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence or history in general.

But this gets better. Homegirl had people sign her stupid proclamation. Know who didn’t sign it? Our governor, Brad Henry. But did that stop her Jesus-y buddies? Check this out from The Lost Ogle. Yeah. That’s forgery. I’m sure Jesus was totally cool with that.

I hate this bitch. I’ve hated her for a very long time. In fact, I’m going to share with you something I wrote a few years ago that ran in Oklahoma State’s student-run newspaper, simply because I like it and it’s still totally relevant:

“Dearest Rep. Sally Kern,

I must congratulate you on your recent speech. In it you achieved levels of hatred, ignorance and intolerance I once thought unreachable, even by Oklahoma’s incredibly conservative standards. Kudos to you, ma’am.

All joking aside, I just thought I’d let you know that you have effectively made quite the fool of yourself.

This letter has taken me quite a while to write. I’m so mad I’ve been at a complete loss for words since the tape of your speech was released. But I have moved past anger and entered a state of confusion.

I want to know how you can compare homosexuality to cancer.

I want to know how you can ignore science and claim people choose homosexuality when there is clear evidence to the contrary.

According to the American Psychological Association Web site: ‘Human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.’

I want to know how you can claim to be such a good Christian while defying the Bible that tells you not to judge, to treat others as you want to be treated and to love the sinner and hate only the sin.

I want to know how you can hate other human beings for something that has absolutely no effect on you whatsoever.

Rep. Kern, if you’re reading this and still think what you said was the right thing, let me make my point clearer. Here are some of your original statements:

‘You know, gays are infiltrating city councils. … Did you know that the city council of Eureka Springs is now controlled by gays? … They are winning elections.’

‘One of my colleagues said ‘We don’t have a gay problem in our community’… well you know what, that is so dumb. If you have cancer in your little toe, do you just say that I’m going to forget about it since the rest of you is fine? It spreads! This stuff is deadly and it is spreading. It will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation.’

I’m going to replace any reference to homosexuals with the word ‘Jew(s).’ Again:

‘One of my colleagues said ‘We don’t have a Jew problem in our community’… well you know what, that is so dumb. If you have cancer in your little toe, do you just say that I’m going to forget about it since the rest of you is fine? It spreads! This stuff is deadly and it is spreading. It will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation.’

“You know, Jews are infiltrating city councils. … Did you know that the city council of Eureka Springs is now controlled by Jews? … They are winning elections.”

Honey, you sound like a homosexual-hating Hitler.

I haven’t even addressed this little nugget from your speech:

‘I honestly think it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.’

Is there a minority group you don’t hate? I’d like to know.

I am also wondering if you’re aware that the United States is not a theocracy. If you weren’t, I highly suggest you look into doing some research on the separation of church and state.

As a journalist I am a firm believer in free speech and the First Amendment. I know you have every right to say what you want and what you will, but as a representative of others, you have to be smart about running your mouth.

I know your comments certainly do not represent my views, and I wish you to stop speaking on my behalf.

I hope others are as inspired by your speech as I am and show their outrage at the polls in the next election. I will be sending money to your opponent’s campaign.

Thanks to you, Oklahoma is yet again the butt of jokes. I hope you’re as ashamed of yourself as we are of you.”

In conclusion, I will say this: Sally Kern, I want to meet you.

Really. I do. I want to see that you’re for real, because I don’t think anyone with those fucked-up views really, truly believes them. I’d love to sit down and interview you. I’d even go to a church to do so. (And for me, that’s truly a sacrifice.) Have your people call my people, OK? OK.

-B. Schmidt

sallykernauntie

It's the eyes... They're so... dead.

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1 Comment

Filed under News, Politics, Red Dirt

One response to “Batty old bitch

  1. Pingback: Politics in the classroom « The Raving Wheat

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