I have several friends who have received Google Wave and Voice invites. I’ve been given Google Wave and Google Voice invites.

I waved goodbye to both.

Why?

Because anything Google Wave and Voice can do, my iPhone and I can do better.

If you don’t know what Wave is, watch Google’s video here.

Or, for the Sparknotes version: It’s only really useful if you’re collaborating on a project and need feedback from those in your group. Even then, calling them up and talking to them would probably be easier.

Google Voice is like having a secretary/cell phone combo. Read about it here.

It does almost 10 things an iPhone won’t:

1. Listen In: Basically you can listen to a person before you take his or her call. It reminds me of  secret three-way-calls. (Think “Mean Girls” here.)

2. Phone routing: Don’t want to talk to Mom? Send her call to your secretary at the office.

3. Voicemail transcripts: Oh man. I have Voice Command on my iPhone. It can’t tell the difference between “Play artist Lady Gaga” and “Call Laura *****.” I’ll admit that it would be entertaining to read how those voicemails are transcribed.

4. Share voicemail: All this is is sending a sound file via email.

5. Personalize greeting: Your voicemail plays certain greetings for certain people. Good for people being stalked.

6. Call recording: Yeah, that isn’t always legal. I’d be careful with that feature.

7. Call switch: I could only see that being useful when you phone is dying.

Wave and Voice would have been revolutionary in the days before the smartphone, sure. But in today’s world when even rich 6-year-olds have an iPhone, Wave and Voice pretty much old technology.

-B. Schmidt

Sent from my iPhone

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If her music weren't brilliant, it wouldn't happen.

It's all the "other stuff" that is freak-out worthy, really.

Probably because Lil' Tom isn't tall enough to reach the keyboard to type for himself.

Ice T's posts are always confusing. Is he promoting a gang on Twitter? Initiation into Twitter gang: Post so many times that it crashes Twitter's servers.

They’re cute, they’re cuddly and nothing reminds most of us of our childhoods more.

And then there is this:

Seems cute, right? Wrong. Why?

It. Is. Made. Of. Placenta.

PLACENTA!

I get that birth is a great thing, but seriously? Fact: Usually when you birth a child, you get to take it home. That should be enough. When I get something, I do not feel the need to keep its packaging, too.

But baby-goo bears aren’t the end of it. Check this out.

Yes.

People eat placenta.

Like, that shit was all up in your vagina. Not OK! I’ve heard people justify that with “But animals do it!” OK, animals lick their own asses and eat their own shit. Will you be doing that as well? Didn’t think so.

Please excuse me while I go vomit forever.

-B. Schmidt

Seriously. It was like Booth and Brennan just met.

Oh, there was plenty of talk of sex, which I found greatly entertaining. But the only chemistry going on here was in test tubes and beakers in the lab.

I was surprised that my favorite parts of last night’s ep were Cam’s scenes. She is dealing with Michelle and Michelle’s boyfriend. Cam must come to grips with the fact that she’s raising a horny teenager. So Cam consults the whole lab to see what she should do, including intern Clark.

Clark is my least favorite intern. He’s boring. He whines. I will be SO pissed if he’s picked as Zack’s replacement. (Not that you can really replace Zack.)

The case is mediocre. It had great potential, sure. But the way it concluded was shitty. They just suddenly knew who did it. Like I said, shitty.

Anywho, this ep did have some great funny moments:

Brennan to Cam, when she caught Cam reading from “Talking to Your Teen About Sex”: “Is that a cartoon rendering of a penis in your book?”

Cam: “Uh, why, I guess it is. Look at that…”

Brennan: “Why is it talking?”

Cam: “Isn’t Booth expecting you?”

Brennan: “It’s cute.” *walks out*

-B. Schmidt

I, one of the pickiest music snobs ever, absolutely love Lady Gaga. Her music is good, she writes well and she can actually sing. She has written for many artists, including Fergie, The Pussycat Dolls, Britney Spears and New Kids on the Block. And she’s only a year older than I am.

I was talking to a couple of my coworkers the other day and one of them brought up a good point: Lady Gaga is at the point in her career that will decide how long she lasts.

I figure she has two roads from which to choose:

Braaaaaiiinns!

Or:

The queen in her heyday.

Gaga is about one titty flash and a tacky wig away from circa-psychological breakdown-era Britney Spears. I want her to avoid this because she is so close to becoming my generation’s Madonna.

She has a very fine line to walk. I think she can stay this side of crazy if she stays off the drugs. What happens if she doesn’t? This:

That's Amy Winehouse, not Gollum in a bad wig.

Good luck, Gaga.

-B. Schmidt

This episode was discouraging, to be frank. So I’m not going to spend a lot of time on it. Follow the jump to see what my grumpy fan vibes are all about.

Basically, Georgina is obsessed with Dan, who isn’t really wanting a relationship with her. Nate is STILL the most boring character in network television. Blair and Chuck were annoyingly competing over a painting for their own reasons. Serena goes back and forth between hating and loving Carter so many times that I lost count. Scott tells V his secret but pansies out when it comes to telling Rufus so he just says that he’s Rufus’ son’s brother. Bree knows Carter somehow and her fam hates him. She threatens him at the end of the ep. Scott leaves behind a teary Vanessa en route back to Boston.

Come on, writers. This was a WIZZZ-EAK episode. I love Gossip Girl’s quirky lines as much as the next fan but all of the auction jokes were too much. And why don’t you just go ahead and kill off Nate? I mean, you’re not doing anything with him anyway. I can always Google pics of Chace Crawford if I start to miss the guy.

Were there any good things about this ep? Jenny’s hair. V and S’s (simultaneous responses) to Dan sneaking out of Georgina’s dorm room:

V: Please tell me it’s Georgina and not Blair

S: Please tell me it’s Blair and not Serena

Aaaaand, well, that’s about it. Here’s to hoping the next ep is better. Though Hillary Duff and Tyra Banks are in it so I’m not super hopeful. Gossip Girl, you better watch it. It’s about time for me to evaluate my show sched and cut my losses. 90210 already said adios. Will you be next?

XOXO,

Le Chev

Anyway, I have a few tidbits for you today, both of which concern music. First off, three new singles have been added to iTunes and are available to download now. One is a cover of Heart’s “Alone” by Matthew Morrison (Will Schuester) and Kristin Chenoweth. It’s phenomenal. The other two–”Maybe This Time” and “Last Name”–are solos by Kristin and are totally fun as well.

The second bit of news is a little bigger. As of yesterday, you can officially pre-order the first GLEE soundtrack, GLEE: The Music, Volume 1. You can do that by clicking right here. There are two different options: you can pre-order the actual CD for $16.99 and you get a GLEE poster or you can order the digital-download version for $12.99. Either way it’s a pretty good deal for a 17-track album. And you better believe that I’m getting a copy. I can’t wait for November 3rd!

Stay GLEEful,

Le Chev

Yes, you read that correctly. He didn’t quit. He didn’t get another job and move on. Jon Gosselin got fired.

From now on, the show will be Jon and just Kate Plus 8, showing her life as a single mom to these fabulous children. Now, I think calling her a “single mom” opens up a whole new can of worms, but in my opinion it’s better than having that assclown hanging around.

According to a source close to Jon, “Given Jon’s recent antics, there was no way the show could continue to portray him as a doting dad, not while all this other crap was going on.”

And really, can you blame TLC? They’re the family channel! The world loves TLC! They make people cry with all of the generous things they do!

And what has Jon Gosselin been up to lately? Well, since you asked:

• Taking his she’s not my girlfriend to visit his hometown.
• Getting it on with the nanny
• Calling Kate abusive (again, another can of worms)
• Spending money like the world is ending.

Oh, and we can’t forget running around like a tool in Ed Hardy. What does that shirt say? Death before dishonor? Ah, it’s all so clear now.

Apparently he’s still shopping around for The Divorced Dads’ Club with Michael Lohan. Let me know how that one works out for you, Jon boy.

Disclaimer: I’m not 100% on Kate’s side because I think there’s definitely blame to share, but damn. Fired?